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   granma3xnow

   103 Kudos

   Yes, there were so many bruises on me, my own mother did not want to look at me. I spent several days in a coma, and don't remember much of my hospital stay. When I woke up, just befor transfer to a nursing home, I couldn't even sit up. My brain was working, not well, and I have been very frustrated ever since. I couldn't walk right because my left side was affected. My brain "said" this is nuts!!! You were just on your feet in August 2007. I couldn't verbalize, because it caused great pain, just to think.
   But, I was fighting for my freedom!!!!
   I most likely started walking at age 1, I wanted some of that back. So I kept wiggling everything I could. And practicing talking!! (mostly cursing) ha-ha. I told the nursing home folks to let me out, they said "how are you going to leave" and I said "through the front door, same way I came in".
   The walker, the cane, and then free standing. Several months of physical therapy and I had gone as far as I could. Every day I am still surprised by some form of vertigo. My walk is just a shuffle, as I cannot "speed" up. But I am still on my feet!!!! (only one who has "kissed the floor" can know what it is like)
   Many months later, my first time behind the wheel of my car.....whew!! I can only drive about slow and I feel nauseous doing that. But this is a small town, so I don't have to go fast. A couple of chores a day is all I'm good for. Then it takes several days to recover.
   While I wake up some mornings with a feeling of OH WOW YOU MADE IT THROUGH THE NIGHT!! I'm glad I made it. However I do still wonder where the "rest" of me is. She is in my head, she just hasn't found her way out yet.
   Original comment »
   

   12/07/08

   Reply from jack raney: Fran I'm not sure if we ever find the "REAL" me or us after what happened to us, maybe after the dust settles and our path becomes clearer we might find the pieces of our past life and begin to rebuild it all over again. Your right about the knowing part, how can someone know what you went through if they never experienced it 1st hand? We have to remember where we've been in order to know where were going, it took West Nile taking me to point of death to make me wake up and change my life. People find it hard to believe that I'm thankful for West Nile, when they have just had a mild case, it took death to wake me, to slow me down enough to listen to reason. I believe West Nile can either make me or break me, I had to make the choice's I made in order to surpass what the doctors told me I would be. I spent much of my early recovery fighting to be the man I use to be, battled with a myth more than a man. I'm a little over 4 years out, I'm still reminded of who I was prior to West Nile, still see the things I did, told about my triumphs, I'm not sure when it happened but the need to be that man slipped away. I'm satisified of who I've become, even though it's nice to have been thought of the way I use to be. 12/08/08

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